A Married Gay Couple on Marriage Equality and Community in Cuenca

A married couple who relocated to Cuenca describe how Ecuador's recognition of same-sex marriage, and a surprisingly large local LGBTQ community, shaped their decision to leave the United States.

When Keith Potter and his husband started seriously comparing places to live outside the United States, marriage equality wasn't a side issue. It was one of the first filters they applied.

Marriage equality as a deciding factor

According to Keith the couple did not want to move somewhere that failed to recognize their marriage, because that recognition touches far more than symbolism. "That was a big factor," he said, explaining that hospital visitation rights and estate planning were directly on his mind. "We didn't want to move somewhere that, like, didn't recognize our marriage because, you know, that comes with a lot of stuff... it matters."

Ecuador recognizes same-sex marriage, and Keith said that fact, combined with the country's use of the US dollar and its year-round mild climate, meant Ecuador "checked a lot of boxes more than any other place we could think of."

Finding community through language exchange and a monthly brunch

Once in Cuenca, the couple didn't go looking for an LGBTQ scene specifically. They found it mostly by trying to learn Spanish. According to Keith, intercambios — informal language exchange meetups where Cuencanos practice English and expats practice Spanish — became one of the main ways they met people, gay and straight, local and foreign.

What surprised them was the size of the community they stumbled into. "There's a big LGBTQ community and it seems like it's with both expats and Ecuadorians too," Keith said, describing a mix of ages: longtime retirees, younger locals, and newer arrivals. He added that the scale of it caught him off guard: "I was actually surprised at how large the LGBT expat community" turned out to be.

That community organizes regularly. Keith described a recurring event that has become a fixture: "There's a monthly brunch... attended by probably over well over 100 people." Beyond the brunch, he mentioned happy hours, coffee meetups, and other informal gatherings, some of which draw Cuencanos who are there mainly to practice their English. Earlier in the year, the city also held a pride parade, which Keith cited as another sign of visible, organized community life rather than something kept quiet.

Keith was direct about their experience in the city so far: "We've had zero negative encounters with anybody," he said, listing their landlord, contractors who've done work in their apartment, shopkeepers, and friends made through language exchanges and peer groups.

The caveat: a filtered view

Keith was careful to qualify his own confidence. He and his husband are not yet fully fluent in Spanish, and he acknowledged that limits what they would actually hear or notice if something subtler were happening around them. "I think there's a little bit of the ignorance is bliss thing too," he said, "because we don't fully speak or fully integrated with the language at this point to know if there were something."

That caveat matters for anyone weighing his account: a newcomer without full fluency may simply be missing signals that a longtime local Spanish speaker would catch. Keith’s read on safety is genuine, but it's also explicitly partial, based on roughly seven months in the city and conducted largely in English with a community that has already welcomed them.

How Ecuador compares

Before settling on Ecuador, the couple looked seriously at Costa Rica, Panama, and briefly Uruguay, and Keith said Spain had long been his personal "dream retirement location" going back to time he spent there decades earlier studying. Spain and Europe more broadly were set aside mainly for practical reasons: time zone distance from family still in the United States, and overall cost, rather than any specific concern about Ecuador's competitors. Uruguay came up in conversation but was ruled out. Ecuador stood out, in Keith’s telling, because it combined marriage equality with the dollar-based economy, a climate he and his husband liked, and a cost of living that let them afford things — like regular massage therapy and dental work — that weren't realistic on their budget in the US.

What this means for you

If you're an LGBTQ reader weighing Ecuador alongside other countries, Keith’s experience offers a few concrete, if limited, data points rather than a verdict. Ecuador's legal recognition of same-sex marriage was a real, practical factor in his own decision, not just a feel-good detail. Cuenca appears to have an active, mixed expat-and-local LGBTQ social calendar, including a monthly brunch that draws over 100 people and at least one pride parade. Keith reported no negative encounters in his first seven months, across landlords, contractors, and daily errands.

At the same time, his account comes from someone still building Spanish fluency and still new to the city, which he himself flagged as a limit on what he could reliably judge. His strongest practical advice, for LGBTQ and non-LGBTQ movers alike, was not to commit based on a short vacation: visit for an extended stay, more than once if possible, before deciding whether the fit is real.

This article is based on an interview conducted by HiExpat on 2026-10-27. Rules and prices change; confirm with the relevant authority before acting.

Photo: Shad Meeg / Pexels